Saturday, April 24, 2010

Dead with Regis and Kelly

Toys, Fashion, Film and Film Commentary all in one place. This week's post is like 'Dead Morning America' without the news, weather and travel segments.

So let's start first with Zombie Toys. I am assuming that Zombie Zach over there in the pretty lady's arms is a ventriloquist's puppet, based on his lack of legs and her unseen right arm. I imagine that's one twisted act. And potentially funny as hell. But if all the baby ever says is "Braaaaaiiiiinnnnssss!" it's probably not funny. If I were a practitioner of the Black Art that is Ventriloquism,* this is probably the kind of puppet Uncle P would have. Hell, this is the kind of puppet Uncle P would love to have now. Zombie Zach is pretty creepy, and much more convincing than Baby Selwyn (I know, Selwyn is a gag. But so is Zach... I'm just sayin', is all). I don't personally know any ventriloquists, but I did go to college with a magician who was recently arrested for fondling little girls at birthday parties. As if us carny folk don't have enough of a reputation, as it is.

Of course, there are plenty of toys I saw while Googling and Binging that I really want to have, too. Like this adorable little Zombie Bunny, this weirdly sexy Wolverine figure from the Marvel Zombies collection or this must-have Dawn of the Dead Hare Krishna Zombie action figure. That went right on to my Amazon wishlist. Of course, I really want one of these, too:

And while I'm coveting these Zombie Toys, over in Zombie Fashion, I'm also coveting some of these Zombie T-Shirts and wondering why I don't own a single one of them. Some are stupid; some are funny; some are disturbing; a few are quite clever and one is for people with better bodies than yours truly. All of them are fun, though.

And I suppose from there, we can make a semi-logical leap to Zombie Ink.. I have mentioned that I'm planning on some new ink in the coming weeks (it's finding the time). Of course, I think I've already said I won't be getting a Zombie Tatt. Especially not Zombie Pee-Wee; Zombie Hello Kitty; Zombie Stephen King (at least that's who it looks like to me) or Zombie Elvis. I might consider one o f these amusing Zombie Bite tatts, if I was 19. And I'd certainly never get this Zombie tattoo.

Of course, Rob Zombie is a director, now. Which makes for another semi-logical leap to Zombie Films.

The guys over at Go! See! Talk! have posted this little diatribe aimed at Romero and Zombiephiles, everywhere. Some valid points are made, and the fellow allows that he loves Zombie movies, despite their perceived (by him) flaws. So I checked out some of their other posts. The 3 guys are often funny, though I'm not sure which of them is writing what and their humor is pointedly sophomoric. Sadly, they seem to think they know more about movies than they actually do, which doesn't really make for a very good movie blog.

And finally, this week's Zombie Clip of the Week:

Le Queloune is French short about clown brought back from the dead with help of Diet Coke and Mentos. It was sent to me by the lovely Sean at Just a Jeep Guy, who shares my love of the Living Dead. Enjoy:

Dominique Pinon (City of Lost Children; Alien Resurrection) gives another amazing performance as the Zombie Clown. I love when he tries to make the screaming woman laugh - there is something very John Belushi about it. And that's one very self-aware zombie. His discovery of his condition is just priceless and his first attempt at cannibalism is just hilarious, in a very ghoulish way. Only a French Zombie would consider cooking his food. And the husband coming home to unknowingly sample his wife? Genius. Though why a French clown would be dressed as the very American Bozo, is beyond me. Of course, a quick search also brings up plenty of nightmare versions of Bozo. The moral? Stop putting Mentos into Diet Coke. Do you want to be responsible for the Zombie Apocalypse? I know I sure don't.

More scientific nonsense, soon.

*All you ventriloquists out there pipe down. It's a joke. You know people think what you do is creepy, so don't try to deny it. Just accept it and move on.

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